After four days of daycare, it's official. I have THAT kid. The biter. The hair-puller. The bully. The one that causes mothers to say, "Why do they let him do that? That's awful." I know they say it, because I have said it before about other biters. Now in his defense, Asher doesn't do it to be mean. He isn't violently attacking the kids. He is just playing, and doesn't realize that other babies don't play back like 3 1/2 year old brothers. Not that it matters how he means it. It must stop. I am just so sad that he might ruin his reputation and always be known as the Biter, when I know he really is this sweet little angel. At home, when I tell him "NO" in my stern Mommy voice, he instantly bursts into tears and throws himself into my arms to give me a hug (well sometimes). This phenomenon doesn't carry over to his daycare provider just yet. I keep telling myself that it's only been 4 days. The other babies are still these new "toys" for him to play with. Still, I have spent the last two nights calling the other mothers to apologize for my child's bites/hit/hair pulls. Luckily, everyone is being very understanding, but I doubt that will continue if their children continue to come home looking like victims of shark attacks.
Some mothers have told me to bite him back when he bites. This does not make sense to me. It's like the parent who slaps her child and says, "Don't hit!" I'm sorry...I think that sends a mixed message to children. Hmm..Mommy says no hitting, but it must be okay to do sometimes because she does it to me. Now I am not saying that I am completely against a good whomp on the butt sometimes to really get a point across, but those instances are rare. Some people might completely disagree with me, and that is fine. I once read in a book that when a parent hits their child, it is more about the parent losing their temper and control of the situation, rather than the child's behavior. This plays through my mind whenever I lose my temper...at my children, not necessarily when I lose my temper with my husband. :)
Other than Asher's biting issues, I think my kids are pretty well-behaved. Of course, all kids act up sometimes and mine are no exception, but for the most part I think Gavin is a well-behaved boy. Asher is still young, so we'll see. I might be rereading this post in a year through tears of frustration. I am definitely not saying that my kids are perfect angels...well okay, I guess I did call Asher an angel in the first paragraph, but you know what I mean. I realize my kids throw tantrums sometimes, as all kids do. Still, discipline and behavior are really important to me. This is probably because I work with children and get to experience all extremes of behavior on a day-to-day basis. When Gavin went through a naughty/tantrum stage around age 2 1/2-3, I got out my 1-2-3 Magic book and my SuperNanny book. I even ordered an official Time-Out mat. (P.S. Gavin responded VERY well to 1-2-3 Magic. I'm a big believer in that program.) Yet, despite all these things, I am not a super-strict parent. I believe I am more strict than my husband, but don't tell him that. It's funny, because he honestly believes that he is this super-strict harda$%, but he lets them get away with way more than I do. Anyway, I am not super-strict, but I do think I am a structured parent, and I feel that works well in our family. Once again, my job influences how I parent. I have learned over and over again the importance of structure and consistency with children, and even adults. I function much better in a consistent routine. However, I also am not so structured that my kids come unglued when that schedule is disrupted. I think flexibility is a life skill that all children need to learn at a young age. You can make plans and have a schedule, but life is not perfect and you must always be prepared to adjust things accordingly. There is this perfect balance between routine and flexibility, and I hope I am teaching my children that balance.
Right now, our family is in the transition to the school year routine. I love the summer breaks, but it is so hard to get everyone (including me) into the school routine when you have been home, sleeping in, and hanging out in pj's for 2 1/2 months. The first week is almost over, so hopefully we will all be more settled into our schedule by next week. The one thing that is sweet about this transition phase is that the boys really miss me during the day. Asher has been extra-cuddly at night, and Gavin told me that he really missed me when I picked him up that first day. :)
As for me, it does feel good to get dressed up in cute clothes again, actually fix my hair as opposed to my daily ponytail of summer, put on makeup, and get back to work. I have always liked my morning commute, listening to FOX News on XM, and getting out of Ewing. It's nice to see the other teachers again. I get along really well with my colleagues, particularly in Elgin since I am starting my 5th year there. The first week is lots of office work: reviewing files, scheduling students, and just setting up billing forms, progress sheets, and other paperwork. I will start seeing my students next week, and I am looking forward to that. I am always hopeful that they maintained their progress from last spring, and we can start up right where we left off in May. My fingers are crossed!
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