Okay, the title is a bit misleading. I should have called it "The One About Why I Hate Being Pregnant!" I am writing this in case I get baby fever in three years and think I need another one. So to my future self: ADOPT! I never have understood those women who say they love being pregnant, feel the best they have ever felt, blah, blah, blah. This in no way reflects on how I feel about my unborn child. I can't wait to have him, hold him, kiss him, etc.. I love babies, but just hate the process of pregnancy. And really, I should probably be grateful that I have had three "easy" pregnancies. I have avoided morning sickness, swelling limbs, spider veins, and many other nasty symptoms or complications. Still, none of that makes me actually enjoy being pregnant.
Here is my list of reasons that I hate being pregnant:
1. Weight gain--yes, I realize that you have to gain weight when you are pregnant, unless you are one of those freaky women who end up actually weighing LESS when they deliver (I hate you, by the way). It just pisses me off when I have worked my butt off to lose weight and then have to watch the number on the scale go up again. Some women gain a lot of weight while pregnant and some do not. After three pregnancies, I think it's safe to say that I am one of those women who gain a lot of weight. No matter what I do, what I eat, how much I workout...my body seems to need to get to this 10-15 lb weight range by delivery, regardless of my starting weight. One of my close friends only gained 11 lbs while pregnant with her last baby (I hate you too, by the way). That blows my mind how that is possible. I will never actually post how much I have gained with each pregnancy, but it's something I hope I can forever forget. Cross my fingers, I have been very lucky that I have been able to get the baby weight off (well all but a few lbs) after each pregnancy. I am praying that my advanced age of 32 and slowing metabolism will not fail me after this baby. And thank you, Jessica Simpson, for gaining so much weight during pregnancy that you make the rest of us feel better.
2. Not being able to sleep on my tummy--or actually not being able to sleep well at all. Between the uncomfortable rock hard belly and constant trips to the bathroom, do pregnant women actually sleep more than a few hours a night? I think not. I know people say it's preparing the mothers for getting up at night with the newborn every few hours. Honestly, I would much rather get up to feed my baby then just be up for no reason or because I am so uncomfortable.
3. The constant fear of leg cramps--With Asher, this was awful. I would cramp up a lot through the night. I remember waking Ernie up to massage my calf while I cried my eyes out. With this baby, there are times when I curl up my legs at night and just have this sensation that a cramp is coming and pray to God that I can avoid it. I hate that sensation, because I remember just how awful the cramps were when I was pregnant with Asher.
4. Not being able to bend over to pick something up off the floor without grunting. Or being able to bend over to do anything--shave my legs, paint my toenails, etc..
5. Not being able to get up from the floor or a couch without grunting--I feel like a 400 lb 80-year old woman.
6. Not being able to sit on the floor comfortably to play toys with my other kids--I have a lot of guilt going on this summer. I feel bad that my boys are somewhat neglected because I am too (hot, tired, uncomfortable) to do things with them. We aren't going to the pool as often as I would like. We aren't taking walks or bike rides like we normally do. I think back to all we did last summer and just feel so guilty. I want to be a fun, active Mommy--not this big whale that just sits back and watches.
7. Missing my normal clothes, particularly my Big Star jeans. I have honestly gone into my closet and just held them up to gaze at. I hate maternity clothes, especially maternity jeans. They slide down constantly. I can't wait to clear my closet of all maternity clothes.
8. Enormous boobs--if one of my brothers is reading this, I apologize. I know some women love having Pamela Anderson-sized boobs, but I am not one of them. Why anyone would surgically choose to have boobs this big is beyond me. I miss my "normal-size" chest.
9. My lack of memory--I honestly can't remember anything when I am pregnant. If I don't write it down somewhere that I see every day, I forget. I have forgotten a few very important things this pregnancy (things I don't want to admit to even). I forget to make phone calls, return paperwork on time, and I even forgot to order Ernie's Fathers Day gift that Gavin picked out. Actually I really thought I ordered it, but then apparently did not because it never showed up on my Amazon order history.
10. Mood disorder--I am told that I am very moody and difficult to get along with while I am pregnant. I still remember a night early on in this pregnancy when Ernie said something to me (no clue what it was now) and I threw a fit that can only be described as a 2-year old tantrum. It shocked the heck out of him....he said nothing, but just turned around and left the room. To which I then burst into fits of laughter because I realized how ridiculous it was. When I am pregnant, the tears flow frequently. I can't seem to help it. I also remember when I was pregnant with Gavin, we went the movie theatre to see the Adam Sandler movie Click. I had to leave the theatre toward the end because I was bawling hysterically--no joke. Bawling--Adam Sandler. I don't think those things go together. I am a pretty emotional person normally, so pregnancy hormones really do push me over the edge. Fortunately, Ernie is very patient--well maybe not as patient this third time around, but I guess he is still here. Probably just to save the boys from my craziness. :)
11. Constantly having to answer questions about the pregnancy--this probably goes along with the mood disorder, but I get really tired of people asking how I am feeling and when I am due. Because chances are, it's a lot later than when they THINK I am due. And then I have to see the surprise on their face and hear that dreaded response, "Oh, you have a long ways to go!" With this one, I am also sick of seeing the look on peoples' faces when I tell them we are having another boy. Which is always followed by, "So are you going to keep trying for a girl?" Not the best time to ask me that question. (Side note: I am sure I am guilty of asking other people all of these questions. Future self, remember how annoying it is to answer these questions.)
12. Stretch marks--no additional comments necessary.
13. Constant jabs and kicks. People have said, "Enjoy the pregnancy. At least you know where this baby is." Yes, I do know where he is, because he kicks me constantly. I know there is a certain comfort in feeling your baby kick because at least you know he is okay. For the most part though, I really don't enjoy that either. I have big babies. Those kicks are powerful, and many times hurt like hell. Gavin camped out in my ribs most of the pregnancy. That was awful! All three of my babies have been very big movers, which I am sure is no surprise to anyone after seeing Gavin and Asher today. They are active boys!
14. Lack of alcoholic beverages--If I had written this post three years ago, I don't think it would have made the list. I am normally not a big drinker. I will drink at social events, but rarely at home. For some reason though, I have craved beer this pregnancy. Maybe it's been the stress of building the house and knowing that a beer at the end of the day would have relaxed me. I don't know. I am really looking forward to drinking that first beer.
15. Lower back pain if I have been walking or standing too long. Really no position is comfortable when you have a belly that big.
I am going to end here, but I really think I could just go on and on with my list. As I am nearing the 33-week mark, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I doubt I will go early, but you never know. At most, he will be here in 7-8 weeks. I am still going to complain nonstop along the way, but I know I can survive. And hopefully someone has a beer waiting for me after delivery.
No comments:
Post a Comment