The last book I finished, The Nine Rooms of Happiness, took me about three months to read. This book, Heaven is for Real, took me about three hours. I had been hearing about this book for weeks. My Mom had read it, and told me that I needed to read it as well. For those of you who haven’t heard about this book, it is about a young boy from Imperial, Nebraska who went to Heaven and returned to tell about it.
I remember back in 1993 when my Grandma Joline died, a book came out called Embraced by the Light. It received a lot of criticism; people accusing the author, Betty J. Eadie, of making the story up to sell a book. I can still picture the cover of it. Someone had told my Mom about it, and she really got into it. I remember thinking, “what a bunch of crap!” Looking back now, I am sure my Mom needed to believe that story, after losing her mother. It was probably a comfort to her during her grief, hearing how miraculous Heaven is. My Mom was 36 years old when my Grandma Joline died, only 5 years older than I am right now. She had 4 young children at home. I can’t even begin to imagine my life without my mother, especially during this time of young motherhood when I am calling her often several times a day to tell her what Gavin just said, or Asher just did, or to ask her advice on something I am dealing with.
Back to the point of this post: I bawled my eyes out through the first 50 pages, and then had to stop and go give my boys kisses. If you have not read this book, you must. You must! I am not going to offer any other thoughts. One word sums it up: AMAZING!!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The One About The Nine Rooms of Happiness
I just finished the book The Nine Rooms of Happiness. I have been reading it little by little since January (I think I have talked about my ADHD when it comes to reading). This book was just amazing, and I want to share it with others.
First, the book is written by Lucy Danziger and Catherine Birndorf. Lucy is the editor in chief of SELF magazine, which I love. Catherine is a psychiatrist. The title of the books come from a short story by Edith Wharton called “The Fulness of Life.” Being such a classic literature buff, I just love this fact. I will admit that I have not read this short story, but am going to later tonight if I can find it online. In this story, the main character reflects on her life as she leaves her life on earth and enters eternity. She says:
“I have sometimes thought that a woman’s nature is like a great house full of rooms: There is the hall, through which everyone passes in going in and out; the drawing-room, where one receives formal visits; the sitting-room, where members of the family come and go and they list; but beyond that, far beyond, are other rooms, the handles of whose doors perhaps are never turned; no one knows the way to them, no one knows whither they lead; and in the innermost room, the holy of holies, the soul sits alone and waits for a footstep that never comes.”
Beautiful!! The authors took this idea and ran with it. In The Nine Rooms of Happiness, they further develop this idea that a woman’s inner emotional life is like the rooms in a house.
* The Basement: Memories
* The Family Room: Your nearest and dearest
* The Living Room: Friendship
* The Office: When work follows you home
* The Bathroom: Body image
* The Bedroom: Intimacy and relationships
* The Kitchen: Nourishment and the division of chores
* The Kid's Room: Parenting
* The Attic: Expectations
*The Tenth Room: that innermost room, the holy of holies
We all have “baggage” we bring with us into any situation, whether it be from our past, our relationships with others, our feelings about ourselves, etc.. Throughout the book, there are real-life situations presented that women have discussed with Catherine in therapy. Catherine analyzes each problem to find out the true “room” where the baggage lies. Then she offers a pearl of wisdom for each woman. These are ingenious. I am tempted to go through and write each pearl on a post-it note to decorate my bathroom mirror. I just think this book is amazing. I love the idea of how complex a woman can be, about how she can be having a problem in one area of her life because she has “issues” in a completely different area. Part of why this probably intrigues me so much is because I recognize myself falling into this all the time. I think Ernie would agree. One of the best pearls is "Hysterical is historical." This means if we have an extreme reaction to a situation where we act completely nuts, it usually is happening because of something in our past that this current situation takes us back to. As women, don't we do this all the time? Our poor husbands. How are they to ever understand us?
Another important concept in the book is A+B=C. A is how you act or react to a situation. B is the other person in the situation. C is the outcome of the situation. Obviously, we can’t ever really control B (the other person), but by changing A (how we react), we can alter the outcome of any situation. A simple idea, but not one I have given much thought to before reading this. So many times we think there is nothing we can do, because we can’t control the other person. …but we don’t need to. We really do have all the control. There is no use sitting and blaming others for what is happening in our life. We have the power to change our lives. There was a quote in the book that really sums it all up:
“You always have a choice, about how you act or react to the events of your life. Your life is what it is, and it’s never going to be perfect.”
Being a perfectionist by nature, this book just really hit home with me. I could probably write a dissertation on this book. It really did change how I think about my life, my family, my relationships, etc.. I highly recommend it.
First, the book is written by Lucy Danziger and Catherine Birndorf. Lucy is the editor in chief of SELF magazine, which I love. Catherine is a psychiatrist. The title of the books come from a short story by Edith Wharton called “The Fulness of Life.” Being such a classic literature buff, I just love this fact. I will admit that I have not read this short story, but am going to later tonight if I can find it online. In this story, the main character reflects on her life as she leaves her life on earth and enters eternity. She says:
“I have sometimes thought that a woman’s nature is like a great house full of rooms: There is the hall, through which everyone passes in going in and out; the drawing-room, where one receives formal visits; the sitting-room, where members of the family come and go and they list; but beyond that, far beyond, are other rooms, the handles of whose doors perhaps are never turned; no one knows the way to them, no one knows whither they lead; and in the innermost room, the holy of holies, the soul sits alone and waits for a footstep that never comes.”
Beautiful!! The authors took this idea and ran with it. In The Nine Rooms of Happiness, they further develop this idea that a woman’s inner emotional life is like the rooms in a house.
* The Basement: Memories
* The Family Room: Your nearest and dearest
* The Living Room: Friendship
* The Office: When work follows you home
* The Bathroom: Body image
* The Bedroom: Intimacy and relationships
* The Kitchen: Nourishment and the division of chores
* The Kid's Room: Parenting
* The Attic: Expectations
*The Tenth Room: that innermost room, the holy of holies
We all have “baggage” we bring with us into any situation, whether it be from our past, our relationships with others, our feelings about ourselves, etc.. Throughout the book, there are real-life situations presented that women have discussed with Catherine in therapy. Catherine analyzes each problem to find out the true “room” where the baggage lies. Then she offers a pearl of wisdom for each woman. These are ingenious. I am tempted to go through and write each pearl on a post-it note to decorate my bathroom mirror. I just think this book is amazing. I love the idea of how complex a woman can be, about how she can be having a problem in one area of her life because she has “issues” in a completely different area. Part of why this probably intrigues me so much is because I recognize myself falling into this all the time. I think Ernie would agree. One of the best pearls is "Hysterical is historical." This means if we have an extreme reaction to a situation where we act completely nuts, it usually is happening because of something in our past that this current situation takes us back to. As women, don't we do this all the time? Our poor husbands. How are they to ever understand us?
Another important concept in the book is A+B=C. A is how you act or react to a situation. B is the other person in the situation. C is the outcome of the situation. Obviously, we can’t ever really control B (the other person), but by changing A (how we react), we can alter the outcome of any situation. A simple idea, but not one I have given much thought to before reading this. So many times we think there is nothing we can do, because we can’t control the other person. …but we don’t need to. We really do have all the control. There is no use sitting and blaming others for what is happening in our life. We have the power to change our lives. There was a quote in the book that really sums it all up:
“You always have a choice, about how you act or react to the events of your life. Your life is what it is, and it’s never going to be perfect.”
Being a perfectionist by nature, this book just really hit home with me. I could probably write a dissertation on this book. It really did change how I think about my life, my family, my relationships, etc.. I highly recommend it.
The One About the Spring Snow Day
Here it is, almost April 1st, and Mother Nature blesses us again with more snow. Here are our lovely Easter decorations with a snowstorm in the background. That just isn't right.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
The One About the Unspoken Seating Chart
I think we have reached the point where the high chair can be hauled out. Asher refuses to sit there. He now takes his rightful place at the breakfast island. And not just at the island, but on the south end of the island. He has already figured out that Gavin sits on the north side, and his place is the south side. I tried to put him in "Gavin's chair" this morning, and he threw a fit. Funny how kids figure things out so quickly. He also now refuses to even sit in the booster seat at the island. He prefers to just sit on his knees directly on the chair. However, he will move over to Gavin's chair if Gavin has left food on his plate uneaten. Then he has no problem crawling into that chair and scarfing down the leftover food, which I caught him doing the other night.
Ernie went to the Big Buck Classic in Omaha for the weekend. Unfortunately, with the yucky weather, the boys and I were stuck inside all weekend. I tried my best to keep them busy. Downtime is hard on Mommy. Best to keep them busy when you are outnumbered. We got absolutely nothing productive accomplished this weekend, but those always seem to be the most meaningful weekends.
Ernie went to the Big Buck Classic in Omaha for the weekend. Unfortunately, with the yucky weather, the boys and I were stuck inside all weekend. I tried my best to keep them busy. Downtime is hard on Mommy. Best to keep them busy when you are outnumbered. We got absolutely nothing productive accomplished this weekend, but those always seem to be the most meaningful weekends.
The One About the Rain Boots
Gavin had seen these rain boots at Wal-Mart awhile back, but they didn't have his size. On Friday, I saw Target had a similar pair. He was SO EXCITED! He has had them on constantly this weekend, even asking me if he could wear them in the bathtub. He thought I was an idiot for saying no. "But Mommy, they're rain boots. They can get wet." How do you explain that one to a 4-year old?
The One About the Mighty Ducks
One of my favorite movies as a child, D2: The Mighty Ducks, was on TV today. Gavin, Asher, and I watched a little bit together. Big mistake! My kitchen immediately turned into a hockey ring. Gavin started it, and then Asher joined in, "I hockey! I hockey!"
And why aren't they dressed---who knows? I don't think Gavin ever had pants on today, and Asher kept taking his off and running around in his diaper. Just a lazy Sunday spent at home.
And why aren't they dressed---who knows? I don't think Gavin ever had pants on today, and Asher kept taking his off and running around in his diaper. Just a lazy Sunday spent at home.
Friday, March 25, 2011
The One About the Treat
Last night, the boys and I stopped at Westend Mini Mart. I desperately needed a Diet Pepsi. When we pulled in, Gavin asked, "Can I get a treat?" I suddenly hear this screaming from Asher's side of the vehicle, "I TREAT! I TREAT!!" :)
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