The One About the Chaos

     I have been thinking of posting this just as a way to remember this time in our lives.  I don't want it to be a post of complaining, but looking back I want to remember how chaotic and stressful things were this spring.  Being pregnant is not fun for me.  In fact, I hate being pregnant.  I really do.  I don't feel like myself at all.  I hate carrying the extra weight, and it amazes me that I ever carried this much weight, like when not pregnant.  Like in college.  I feel so sluggish and rundown.  I am sure a lot of that is due to the pregnancy itself and not necessarily weight, but the weight gain is one of the things I hate most about pregnancy.  I never had morning sickness with any pregnancy, so that seems to be the major negative when I am pregnant.  And oh the hormones.  I am already an emotional person, but I can cry at the drop of a hat right now.  Which I do often.  So pregnancy alone is a hard experience for me, but then add two little boys and building a new home.  Ahh!!
    The house has been fun, and overall not as bad as I imagined it to be.  However, it's a lot of time and work.  We have spent almost all our "free" time at the house, at stores picking stuff out, or meeting with the builders, kitchen place, lumberyard, etc..  It has been extra difficult for me, because I am horrible at making decisions.  I stress about things and second guess myself constantly.  Now that I am pregnant, Ernie gets to deal with pregnancy hormones on top of that.  Lucky guy!  Our contractor has been wonderful through this, and we seem to work well together.  I completely trust him, and at times have told him, "Do what you think is best."  We are blessed he was able to build our home, because now he is booked up for the next year.
    Then there are my two little monsters.  I love them so much, and I love that they are very active boys.  I wouldn't want them to be these quiet little guys who sit around, but wow they wear me out.  Now that it's warmer out, we are outside as much as we can be so they can run off some of that energy.  That leaves me away from the house and backed up on laundry, dishes, etc..  My life is just so disorganized right now, and that adds to my stress because I like things all neat and in order.  Which I should have learned by now will NEVER happen when you have children.  I know I need to accept that, but I still seem to fight for perfection on a daily basis.  So yes, I bring a lot of the stress on myself.  I need to give up the fight and let things go.  Will the world end if I have a sink of dirty dishes?  Will time stop if the boys don't get a bath every single night?  In the big picture, none of that matters.
    Yet another thing to throw on the fire is the fact that Asher is not sleeping all night.  He is up at least once, usually two times at night.  He runs into our room, and then one of us has to take him back to bed.  When he does sleep all night, he is up at 5:45 wanting to watch cartoons.  I don't know if all the chaos is starting to affect the boys or what, but Ernie and I are so sleep deprived that it isn't funny.   It's like newborn baby sleep-deprived.  Once again, throw the normal exhaustion of pregnancy on top of that .
    Work has been busy too, but I almost think it's my saving grace right now.  At work, I can have that order and perfection I crave.  My paperwork can be perfect and I can plan ahead.  I can have my MDT and IEP meetings and check them off my "To Do" list.  This post probably makes me sound like I suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which at times I have have honestly questioned myself.  Oh well, that's who I am.
    I know that after this is all over, it will be well worth it.  I will look back on this and forget how crazy it was and how tired I was, kind of like how mothers forgot how painful childbirth really is.  I keep telling myself to enjoy these moments, because there will be a time I want them back.  It is a very exciting time in our lives, but I just pray I can survive it.
    I also wanted to add some funny things the boys have said lately.  I shared these on facebook, but I wanted to document them here too.
    I was telling Gavin that in one week we would find out if the baby was a boy or a girl.  He got a serious look on his face and said, "You know when God made us a long time ago. Did he cut girls' pee pees off?"
     We talk about naming the baby a lot.  The boys have come up with several suggestions.  On the way home from daycare last night, Asher said, "How about we name the baby Fartsniffer?"  I think his next suggestion was "Poopy Sock."  I don't know why he says poopy sock constantly or where he heard it, but he calls people poopy socks all the time.
    Asher also now will say, "I love you, Mommy.  You're my family."  So sweet!

The One About the House (3.27.12)

     The guys have been busy at the house over the last week.  Here are some pictures of the progress.

 Garage doors went on

Laundry room cabinets

My master bathtub finally arrived.  

They delivered the front door.

     And finally pictures of my kitchen.  My beautiful kitchen.  I am so in love.   Going into this process, I thought for sure I wanted cherry cabinets.  I have never been an oak person; it seems too country for me.  But then I spotted the maple cabinets.  I instantly fell in love with Maple Nutmeg with Ebony Glaze.  I spent a lot of time designing my kitchen.  Check out the gorgeous wine rack in the far right corner.  Too bad I can't enjoy that wine right now. 



     The funniest thing happened when I first walked into my kitchen this afternoon.   The baby started kicking up a storm.  I have been feeling the butterfly kicks for a month or so now, but nothing like this.  These were big kicks, rolls, etc..  And he/she must have been camped out right in front, because my bump was bigger than normal and very hard.  Gavin even felt the baby kicking, which was wonderful to see.  I think baby must have been excited about my new kitchen.  Does that mean baby is a she?  5 days and we'll know for sure. 

    Finally, a picture of my little troublemakers.  Gavin has the goofiest smile when posing.

The One About the House (3.20.12)

     Again, I am slacking on my photography.  Time just seems to get away from me.  As for the house, we now have shingles, paint on the walls, and trim work.  The doors are also being painted and put on this week.  Cabinets are coming this week (only 5 days behind schedule).  They have also poured the garage approach and formed the front steps.

Living room windows upstairs (with the ugly temporary door)

View back into the laundry room/garage entrance

Master bedroom

Coffered ceiling in living room upstairs

Master bath (that corner doorway is to the walk-in shower)  My tub will sit under that window.

Downstairs living room with corner fireplace

     Asher is being super sweet with my tummy.  When we sit together at night to watch cartoons or read a book, he covers up my bump with Blankie and says he is sharing with the baby.  He also rubs my tummy a lot and talks to it.  He still insists that he is having a baby brother.  We will know for sure in less than two weeks.  I told him that the baby has ears now and can hear his voice.  I brought home a book for them from the Elgin Book Fair.  It's called Pete the Cat.  You can go online and download the audio book and song.  I have now listened to Pete the Cat about two million times.  The baby is going to come out with that book memorized. 
     Last weekend, we went to O'Neill to the St. Patrick's Day parade.  The boys had a fun time.  Asher was "so excited" to see the green horse.  All morning, he kept telling me, "I am so excited for the parade."  He was fun to watch because at times there was so much candy thrown his way that he got too overwhelmed and ended up just dancing in circles while the other kids would rush out and pick it up. 

     On Sunday, I rode with my parents to Omaha to drop some things off to my aunt.  We went to Nebraska Furniture Mart to look at some things for the new house.  I was thrilled, because I found some of the same furniture I had spotted in Norfolk and Grand Island but for much less.  They can't deliver until June, but it's worth it to save so much money.  I also stopped at Old Navy and found these cute boat shoes for the boys.  Asher is in love with his shoes.  They are a size too big right now, but he wore them to bed that night.  We slipped them off him after he fell alseep, but they were right back on when he came out of his room the next morning.  This is Asher in his new boat shoes and athletic shorts.  He insists on wearing athletic shorts and no shirt all the time. 

     Gavin has been hit hard with allergies.  We went out to my Aunt and Uncle's house to see their new colt.  They bought a horse about 9 months ago, not realizing that she was pregnant.  Last week one morning they woke up and SURPRISE!!!  She had a colt by her side.  :)  The boys love going to their farm and feeding the animals.  Ever since that night though, he has been sneezing, itching his eyes, and itching his skin.  I finally went and got him some Children's Claritin.  We also are using cream from the dermatologist.  I feel so bad for him, and I have heard that the pollen is just crazy this year.  The Claritin seems to be helping.  I hope he doesn't suffer all summer long. 
     That's about all going on with us lately.  We drive out to the house site a lot and have been spending most of our free time at Tigerland lately.  I love that they can run off some energy before settling inside for the night.

The One About the House (3.11.12)

   We got out to the house site this weekend to take some pictures.  The walls are textured, and the painter comes on Monday to start.  The boys love the big dirt piles around the house.  We are definitely putting in a big dirtbox somewhere on the site, so the boys can have all their trucks, tractors, etc.. outside. 

Here are some pictures of the inside of the house.  I tried to get a close-up of the wall texture we chose.  It's called Knockdown. 

 On this last one, you can see the beveled corners.  We chose beveled corners instead of round or square. 

They are also working on putting the tin on the outside of my Dad's building.  Here is a picture of that:

The One About RSV and Ear Infections

    I realize I could title a blog post about every 6 weeks as being "The One About Ear Infections."  My poor boys.  Actually, Gavin hasn't had an ear infection since he got his tubes put in June 2009.  But poor Asher continues to struggle with them, even with tubes.  I really need to invest in an otoscope.  Chances are good that if I think he has an ear infection, he has one...so I guess we would be going to the doctor anyway.  Last week, I knew Asher was getting a cold.  He was coughing a lot, but I didn't notice any wheezing or anything.  Mid-morning last Wednesday, Lisa called and said his breathing suddenly got bad.  I was at work and buried in testing, so luckily Ernie was able to take him into the doctor that afternoon.  Lisa had guessed correctly:  RSV.  Thankfully I had Friday already off for spring break, so I took Thursday off and Asher had a nice long weekend to recover.  I was shocked on Wednesday when Ernie told me the doctor said his ears looked fine.  Of course, Saturday morning he woke up and one ear was draining yellow goo.  So back to the doctor we went.  Now we had breathing treatments, an antibiotic, tylenol for his never-ending fever, and a decongestant.  Lucky Asher!  On Tuesday when I picked him up from daycare, his other ear had a bloody discharge.  Luckily, we didn't have to make another trip to the doctor because I had ear drops leftover from before.  So now add ear drops to his list of meds.  Did I mention that he also has been going through a "let's pretend I'm a newborn baby and wake up every 3 hours" phase?  Yeh, that's been fun.  Ernie and I are going to be very prepared for the new baby.  In fact, I think I am going to just start weaning myself off of sleep completely.  Who needs sleep really?  
    Anyway, I was glad I was able to be home with Asher, but I had planned to use Friday to knock off a million things on the "To Do for the House" list.  That didn't happen.  Luckily, Asher was better and fever-free by Monday, so I took them both to daycare and spent the day in Norfolk and Pierce.  The drywall guys have been working all week, and the painter is coming on Monday.  I am so thankful I am not painting this house.  I know I could...but we definitely wouldn't be in by summer.   There is so way I could find the time to paint doors, trim, walls, ceiling, etc.. until after school is out.  So that is something that I am happy we are spending the extra money on.  I think the kitchen/bathroom cabinets are all being delivered at the end of next week, so that is exciting.  I can't wait to see them.  I need to go out and take some new pictures this weekend.
    On Sunday, I really wanted to spend my birthday in bed reading and drinking wine, but that wasn't going to happen.  So I decided it was a good day to take Gavin to The Lorax.  I feel bad Asher didn't get to go, but he needed another day at home.  We took Gavin to Barnstormers for lunch.  He loved the atmosphere, and saw a plane take off on the runway while we were eating.  The afternoon was so peaceful with just one child.  Isn't that funny how when you get down to just one child (it doesn't even matter which one you have), life is so much easier?  Of course, part of me loves the chaos when the 2 boys are chasing each other through the house and tackling each other.  Happy chaos...is that what they call it?
   Yesterday, I had another appt. at the OB.  I haven't been there in 6 weeks, because I have had to reschedule twice for different reasons.  Poor baby is already getting neglected and he/she hasn't even been born.  Everything was good, and I scheduled our gender ultrasound for April 2nd.  
    I am already feeling the end-of-the-year stress at work.  Referrals have been coming in like crazy, particularly preschool referrals.  I knew that would happen, because the fall was so slow.  I am also trying to move up all the IEP meetings due in the fall, because I'll be on maternity leave.   With everything going on, it will be a miracle if I make it to May 1st.
 

The One About the "I Don't Love You...."

   Asher sure knows how to hit his Mommy where it hurts.  His new thing when he gets mad at me is to give me those sad eyes and say, "I don't love you."  It's like I am taking a punch in the gut, and he fully knows this.  I read somewhere that if your kids aren't screaming, "I hate you" then that means you aren't being a good parent.  :)  I think I would rather hear "I hate you" than "I don't love you."  I'm sure I have plenty of "I hate you's" in my future. 
   Despite these hits, Asher tells me he loves me several times a day.  He will announce out of nowhere, "I love Mommy, and I love Daddy."  He has also been so much more cuddly the last month, even crawling into my lap and letting me hold him like a baby.  Which I love to do...that is until my arms completely go numb.  He also will rub my tummy and tell the baby that he loves him/her.  Gavin has decided that we are naming the baby "Simba."  Asher wants to name the baby "Professer."   We just figured out that he was saying that tonight.  For the longest time, he pronounced it "Potassaroll" and we couldn't figure out what in the heck he was saying.  Then he told me it was on Cars, and Shayla figured it out. 
   I would definitely say the last month has been a bad sleeping phase for us all.  Asher has been up a lot at night, and Gavin even has ventured into our room claiming to be scared from bad dreams.  Ernie and I feel like we have a newborn already as many times as we have been up at night lately.  Asher also believes that morning begins at 5:30 a.m....which it not acceptable.  Especially on Saturday. 
    Pregnancy news:   I am officially in my 2nd trimester!  I am very excited about this, and do think I am getting some energy back.  Thank goodness, because I have been slammed with new referrals at work.  I am already counting down to summer though.  46 working days!  I can make it.  And then with running to Tilden or Norfolk every day off making decisions on the house, it has been exhausting.  Speaking of counting down, 188 days till baby is born!  Man, that sounds like a long time. 

The One About the House (2.25.12)

    The house had a big week.  The sheetrock went up this week, and the dry wall company will come in on Monday to start mudding the seams.  I finalized all my paint colors, and painting will start the first week in March.  All of the cabinets are being delivered on March 16th, and the flooring is scheduled to be installed the last week in March.  Ernie and I made our list of things we have yet to decide on, and the list is less than one page.  We are making so much progress.  It feels so good to check things off that list.  Our contractor told me last weekend that we should be able to move in the first part of April.  I am not going to count on that though, because I know things can change pretty quickly.  If we are in by May 1st, I will be thrilled.  In fact, it would be very nice to just move in slowly throughout April and plan to be in completely by May 1st.
   Here are some pictures of the inside from this morning:

The garage and Ernie's loft.

The living/dining room (view to the south)

Another view of the living room/kitchen/dining and stairs (I love how Asher is doing his Ninja Turtle move)

Kitchen view

Stairs and part of the enormous living room in the basement